The meetings have ended and my time here in Honduras is coming to an end. Armed with courage, determination, and information I now must go home and Face My Giants. I am not referring to those whom I will have to look to for support, no, those are not my giants. My giants are my fears of giving up my life as it is...of sacrificing my family, friends, and a good paying job that allows me to live as I choose. Talking about doing this, surveying the country for possibilities, meeting and planning, these things were the easy part. Now the hard part begins, offering up my life to serve others and putting words into action. Awaiting God's leading, watching for His opening or closing of doors...this is where the giants lie in wait.
I am convinced that the things I have suffered in my life, the many experiences I have had, the current circumstances in which I live, and the calling of God have all come to a "Cross" road where I choose 'Walking with God' more closely and sacrificially or 'Walking with God' where it is most easy. Not that God will love me less either way....the question for ME is; How can I live closely and dependly on God everyday? If the answer is - taking the road less traveled using the equipment and preparations that God has already provided- I must take that road!
My life to this point has been mostly about "me". I have a love for the hurting, impoverished and suffering, and my solution before was only to pray for them and send a check. I am unsure now if this was more a sacrifice of love or an apeasment of my guilt. Once I have walked into the home of 2 children whose mother supports them by making tortillas on a pit in a shack with open sewer running through it....I knew that check was not all about them...it had also been about me. This kind of "in-your-face-reality" really makes you see things more clearly. The serious needs of those who have nothing - while I sit in luxury doing nothing - is no longer acceptable.
The answer God is YES, here I am, take me! Make me like Your Son who lived a life of homelessness, poverty, and sacrifice to save even His enemies. With my heart full of love (mixed with fear) I offer all that I am; in my poverty of spirit, in my brokenness of heart, and in the weaknesses that I battle everyday. I know full well that it is in weakness, brokeness, and poverty of spirit that You can be glorified. Just as the little shepard boy, David, faced his giants with faith I too will face mine girded with Your Armor. Amen ~ So be it.
Daughter of a King
- Barbara
- I am presently a teacher in Dallas, Texas in a 5th grade classroom. I hold a B.S. in Elementary Education and M.S. in Educational Leadership. I am also certified as an ESL teacher. Currently, I teach Reading, Language Arts, Social Studies, and Science. I can teach math as well! I love teaching, inspiring thought, and working as part of a community, to support the success of children. I have been in the classroom for 10 years. My goal with this blog is share what I have learned, learn more from others, and develop a network of professionals.
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1 comment:
I will be praying for you as you make your decision. I like you feel like God has been preparing you for this next step! Isn't the country beautiful but not as beautiful as the children! Hope you are feeling better!
Missy
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